Farewell from the Bookshelf!



Please note that GLBT Bookshelf -- the community wiki which was the parent to this fiction blog -- went offline on May 31, 2016, after seven years' service to members.

All Gay Romance will remain online till the end of 2016 in order to give contributors every opportunity to recover materials uploaded here.

Many thanks to all who contributed over the years, and good luck to everyone in your future works!
Showing posts with label lesbian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lesbian. Show all posts

9.4.12

Lady Caroline’s Reward, by Berengaria Brown

Lady Caroline’s Reward, by Berengaria Brown

Lady Caroline Eversley is the only child of the Earl of Blackshire. He is growing forgetful and she needs a chaperone so hires Miss Dinah Watkin, a distant relative whom she met once at a family gathering and enjoyed good friendship with.

While dealing with unwanted suitors, Dinah and Caroline fall in love, and Dinah teaches Caroline all about sex. But the problem of Caroline’s suitable chaperonage refuses to go away. And in Regency England unmarried women had almost no rights. Whatever will happen to them as the Earl’s health fails?

Lady Caroline’s Reward PG Excerpt

Later that evening, the women sat by the fire in the book room, their fingers moving diligently as they sewed. Hugh, Thomas and John were all upstairs with Caroline’s father. His suite of rooms was always heated warmly and he was never left unattended even for a moment.

Dinah gazed at Caroline. She really did look lovely in the firelight, her pale cheeks slightly flushed by the warmth of the fire, the long hair coiled neatly on her neck and gleaming with reddish highlights, her slender fingers busily employed mending one of her father's shirts.

Dinah's heart lurched. She could fall in love with this woman. Not only was Caroline beautiful, but she was also highly intelligent and courageous in the way she was facing the adversity of her father's, and therefore her own, situation.

"Have you ever been kissed?" Dinah asked suddenly.

"Well, just a few quick pecks by boys who shouldn't have when I was younger. At family gatherings and such. And one or two of the suitors have tried. That's why I made sure Hugh Howel was always with me. They totally ignored the fact my maid Betty was in the room!"

"Would you like to be kissed? Properly kissed?"

"But who-- What? You--"

"Yes, me. May I kiss you?" Dinah put her needlework down on the side table and slid along the sofa to the end where Caroline sat.

Caroline's hands dropped to the sofa. With no objection forthcoming, very gently, Dinah turned Caroline's head toward her and kissed those ripe pink lips. Softly, gently, sweetly, but with enough heat and passion to warm their lips. Very soon, Caroline responded, one hand reaching up to rest on Dinah's arm.

Caroline's lips softened under Dinah's caress, and Dinah licked along the seam, urging her to open her mouth. Caroline did, and Dinah’s tongue slipped inside, very gently running along Caroline's teeth and all around the warm wet cavern.

Dinah's hands firmed on Caroline's head, tilting it slightly as her tongue thrust into the younger woman's mouth.

Caroline groaned and responded more passionately, kissing back with enthusiasm.

Dinah increased the heat by sucking a little on Caroline's tongue pulsing in and out before retreating again.

Caroline melted into Dinah, leaning against the older woman and holding both her shoulders as she returned the kisses very passionately now.

Deliberately, Dinah took one hand off Caroline's head and placed her palm against Caroline's breast, smoothing it up and over the nipple. A nipple that was standing up, a hard, excited little peak.

Caroline's tongue delved into Dinah's mouth, exploring the roof, the sides, the teeth. Dinah responded by sucking on it as her hand slid down inside the bodice of Caroline's gown, hot on her flesh, to rub the globe of her breast and tweak the nipple between her fingers.

"I... Oh... More," gasped Caroline, then returned to kissing Dinah, her arms now grasping the older woman firmly.

Find Lady Caroline's Reward on GLBT Bookshelf

14.3.12

Beloved Pilgrim, by Nan Hawthorne

It is the year 1101 CE and thousands of pilgrims are on their way to Constantinople to lend their aid to the forces of the First Crusade.  Among them is Elisabeth who has disguised herself as her late twin brother Elias and, with his former squire and lover Albrecht, is on her way to fight as a knight.

Rated R for explicit sex


The streets of Bologna were crowded and festive with the market day press. Elisabeth and Albrecht found that just getting from one side of the street to another required all their brute strength and still took far too long. Elisabeth turned to her squire to suggest they return to the inn they had found, but she could see no sign of him. She stood on the tips of her toes and scanned what she could see of the tops of heads, but nothing looked either like Albrecht's hat or, if it had been knocked off or stolen, his chestnut curls. She was about to step up on a crate when a hand grasped her arm and pulled her away.

"Elias, my good friend! I owe you for that tavern bill. Come with me and I will make amends."

It was the leader of the mercenary band, Ranulf. She had occasionally seen him and his ragtag crew on the journey south, but had no reason to speak to him or any of his soldiers. "But . . . my squire?"

Ranulf pulled her along with him, brooking no objection. "Your squire? You don't need him and his purse. This is on me this time." He grinned sideways at her. "Is he your squire or your nursemaid? Or . . . ," and now he leered, "your leman?" He laughed when she looked affronted. "Never mind. Where I am taking you, you need no lemans anyway."

Elisabeth was unsure whether to worry more about Albrecht and what he would think of her disappearance or just where this blackguard was taking her. It seemed to be a place the man knew well, for he sailed through the crowd unerringly, down the street, into an alley that was little less crowded than the street, and then down an even narrower alley. Elisabeth felt her shoe sink into something squishy, but it was so dark she could not see her own feet when she looked down. The constant rubbing of bodies against her own made her worry about two things, about the loss of her purse and that someone, maybe even Ranulf, would detect a most unmanly body part under her clothing.

She was relieved when he propelled her into a covered walkway that was all but empty. Her first action was to check her purse. It was still there. Then she made sure her clothing covered everything that must be.

"You look wonderful." Ranulf gave her another amused look. "Besides, they don't care how you look."

"Who doesn't care?" Elisabeth demanded.

Ranulf did not reply as at that point he pushed open a rough door that seemed to go into an undercroft of a very old, sagging, wooden structure. Passing through a low door with a sign showing seven coins, Elisabeth found herself suddenly in a dark, low-ceiling space that was overly warm and extremely smelly. It was almost more loud than warm or smelly. It was not as packed as the street, but she could hear many voices, some men's, some women's, some raised in song.

"What is this place?" she protested, but she could not hear her own voice, no less could Ranulf have heard her. He pulled her through the throng to a table in the back. As her eyes adjusted, she recognized the mercenary band. "You!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, us! Aren't you happy to see us? Welcome to the Settaducati!" Ranulf shouted in her ear. He gestured for Thomas to move over on the bench, and then shoved her next to the silent man. Ranulf slid in next to her, reviving her fears of close body contact. She wished she had worn her gambeson.

Ruggiero was across from her again. His dark face and beard now sported a smile. It somehow looked more sinister than the man's former scowl. "So you brought the lad, Ranulf. I suppose you thought it was time the little saint got his cherry popped." The Italian raised his cup of wine in salute.

Elisabeth went pale. "My cherry? What cherry?"

The Italian laughed. "You know, your virginity."

"What makes you think I am a virgin?" Her head held high she protested, "I am no virgin!" She caught her breath. Did they know she was a woman? Men don't have cherries.

"All right, all right, so you are no virgin." Ranulf winked at Ruggiero. "So tonight will be your second time. Or fortieth. What does it matter? I am paying for it."

Elisabeth stared at him disbelieving. "You are paying for me to sleep with a whore?"

"Sleep, fuck, play dice with, whatever you want."

Elisabeth paled. "But I can't!"

Ruggiero commented, "You just said you had, so you must be able to."

Elisabeth went scarlet this time. "I mean I pledged my chastity! For the pilgrimage. I must keep myself pure."

The two men erupted into guffaws, and even Thomas smiled humorously.

Ranulf shrugged. "Have it your way. That was a damned silly pledge, if you ask me. You are going to the Holy Land to be killed and have your guts fed to the carrion birds and worse. What harm is there in a little fucking beforehand?" He looked up and called, "Giuliana! A cup and wine here!"

Elisabeth scowled at him.

"Little prig," Ruggiero muttered.

Ruggiero jerked as if shoved aside and a woman appeared squeezed in beside him and Ragnar, whose own attention was on a slip of a girl he had on his lap and was tickling, making her scream with laughter. Elisabeth found herself staring at the serving-woman who leaned forward to pour wine from a pitcher. There before her eyes and barely obscured by the woman's tight bodice were two magnificent breasts the like of which Elisabeth had never seen before on anyone other than some old peasant woman and these were taut, full and not hanging to her waist. Her jaw dropped.

Ranulf laughed. "This is Giuliana and her face is several inches above where you are looking."

Ragnar finally noticed the newcomer and leaning in front of Giuliana said to Ranulf, "It looks like your suspicion of our fey young friend was groundless, my friend."

"Indeed," the leader chortled. "In that case, we needs must settle your own guess, my pale-eyed friend."

Elisabeth could not turn her face away from the delicious prospect, though she had to look up now as the breasts were raised on the standing woman. "What guess?"

A rich contralto with a musical lilt replied from somewhere above the breasts. "That you have never been with a woman, signore," it smiled, its German heavily accented.

Elisabeth's eyes went up, traveling from those Alps and their deep valley to a white throat and thence to a pair of lips so red and rich that they could only be matched by the dark, lustrous eyes that sized Elisabeth up.

Ruggiero spoke to the woman in Italian. She shook her head and replied in a peevish voice.

Ranulf reached to his belt and fumbled in a drawstring pouch. He produced a gorgeous gold ring with a small but brilliant red stone. "Not even for this?"

Giuliana's eyes were now as riveted on the gem as Elisabeth's had been on her breasts, where they again rested. "But I do not like to be their first. They come all over you and then they weep. They fall in love and fight the men you take to your bed." Nevertheless she asked, "Is it real?"

"See for yourself," Ranulf grinned and handed the ring to her.

The woman examined it, leaning to a candle, and then bit the stone. "Jesu Christe!" she swore.

"I told you," Ranulf retorted. "Now how about it?"

Giuliana eyed Elisabeth. "You promise not to get your spunk all over me?"

Elisabeth nodded dumbly. What little consciousness that remained told her she had no spunk to spill, so it was no lie.

"And do you promise not to fall in love and think you own me?" the woman persisted.

In Elisabeth's ears it was an angel chorus, but something seemed to be expected, so she nodded again.

"I promise," she breathed.

"What did he say?" Giuliana demanded. "I couldn't hear him."

Ranulf grinned. "He said he wants to fuck you."

"I should think that is obvious," Ruggiero remarked. "And suck and bugger and lick your feet and whatever else you will allow."

"All right," the woman said dubiously. "But later. I have a customer who gets in first."

Ranulf reached out and deftly plucked the ring from her hand. "The whole night. Or nothing."

She frowned. Looking over the heads at the nearby tables she studied a man who seemed to be starting to fall asleep. "Well, all right then. My customer appears to be about to pass out anyway. Come along, lover boy. Let's get this over with."

"The whole night!" Ranulf repeated, pulling back his hand with the ring clutched in it as she reached for it again.

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "All right. The whole night. But he won't last that long."

Ranulf winked. "Then you will have the night off. And get paid." He handed her the ring.

Elisabeth's eyes followed the woman's retreating form.

"Where did you get that ring?" Ruggiero asked.

"I stole it off a bishop," Ranulf answered, eliciting nothing but a nod from the Italian. "Well, what are you waiting for. She's over there waiting for you." This was addressed to Elisabeth.

Feeling the man's rough poke in her ribs, Elisabeth, her mouth still open, stood and looked, first at Ranulf and then at the woman who stood at the back door of the place. Giuliana shook her head, then laughed and ran one palm  provocatively over her own breasts. A burst of obscene noises and comments greeted the gesture. Elisabeth felt as if she were tethered to the woman by an invisible thread. She advanced, bumping into the table as if she thought she could pass through it. "Oh for Thor's sake," Ragnar swore and stood. He came around the table and took Elisabeth's shoulder, guiding her through the spaces between tables until she stood in front of the woman. "Here, before he comes in his britches. Take him."

Elisabeth let the woman take her arm and propel her out the door into a courtyard. It was damp and full of refuse, but if Elisabeth had to recount her evening's experiences, she would describe it as a garden of fragrant flowers. Giuliana guided her to a stairway up to a gallery, then across the creaking and irregular floorboards to a door.

"In here," she directed.

Elisabeth stared into her face and shook her head. The woman sighed and shoved her in. She shut the door behind her.

"Do you want a light?" the woman's voice sounded in the darkness.

Blind, Elisabeth asked, "A light? What for?"

A deep musical chuckle told her where the whore was. "So you can see me, you dimwit."

"Oh." Elisabeth was starting to realize where she was and what was happening. "But I can't . . . "

A flint sparked and the scraps of linen in a tinderbox caught and flamed. Giuliana tipped a lantern so the wick caught. She blew out the flame in the tinderbox. She replaced the horn cover on the lamp so a dull golden glow lit the space between her and Elisabeth. She set the lamp on a table and looked at her young knight. With her hands on her hips she said, "Can't what? Can't get it up? That's my job." She came to Elisabeth and pressed her magnificent breasts against the front of her tunic. Elisabeth closed her eyes and moaned. The woman reached down to put a hand on Elisabeth's groin. Elisabeth felt her mound cupped and moaned again.

"Oh!" Giuliana exclaimed. She felt more searchingly. "You are a woman! Do they know? I will get them good if this is a jest to make a fool of me."

Elisabeth stepped back. "No, no, they don't know. And please, I beg you, don't tell anyone. It's a secret."

Giuliana smiled gently. "Clearly." She looked Elisabeth up and down. "Well, what do you want to do?"

Elisabeth looked about the dim room. She could just make out a bed with the covers cast about. There was little else. The single window was shuttered and only a thin sliver of light showed where it was sagging on its hinges. "Can we just stay here? All night? So they think I . . . you know . . . ?"

Giuliana gave her a wicked grin. "We can do better than that. You can't fuck me, but we can still have some fun. In fact, for once it will be fun for me."

She came forward and pressed her breasts against Elisabeth's again. She reached up with her arms and, putting them around Elisabeth's neck, pulled her stunned face down to hers. She put her lips on Elisabeth's and took in a deep, sighing breath. "Mmmm," she murmured and slid her tongue into Elisabeth's mouth.

"But . . . but . . . it's a sin!" the young knight protested.

The woman stepped back and put her hands on her hips. "Who says?"

"Well . . . the Church."

"They are all buggering each other when they aren't in here slobbering over my girls. And does it really say making love is a sin? In the holy books, I mean?" The woman cocked her head.

"Th-thou shalt not commit adultery, that is what it says." Elisabeth's brain was too foggy to think further than that.

Giuliana stepped forward again and reached a hand to toy with Elisabeth's cropped tresses. "I thought adultery is when you sleep with someone who is married already."

Elisabeth gaped. "Well, yes, but . . . "  She supposed she ought to tell the woman that she was in fact married, but for some reason was reluctant say it.

The woman leaned in with her face to nibble on Elisabeth's throat. In between nibbles she said, "I always thought they just didn't want a lot of little fatherless bastards running about begging. And we can hardly produce any bastards, can we?"

"I guess not." Elisabeth raised her arms and put one palm on each breast. They were firm to the touch. She kneaded and moaned. Her thumbs found the nipples and discovered they were as hard as little nuts. "Touch me there again," she heard herself entreat.

"Let's get these clothes off you first," the whore said. She expertly untied laces, raised the cloth, pushed down other cloth, and all the while her hands stroked the flesh through and then under it all. By the time she was naked, Elisabeth was trembling all over.

"I want to see you," she begged.

Giuliana smiled languidly. "Then take off my clothes."

Elisabeth reached around the woman to untie the laces that closed the bodice down the back. This made her crush the woman's breasts and she grinned. "You really like this?" she asked. "With another woman, I mean."

"I like it, si, much more than with a man. A woman will seek to please me."

"And men do not?" She pulled the bodice forward so that it slipped over the woman's shoulders. The breasts were now covered with only a thin linen shift. She took one in her hand and flicked the nipple.

Giuliana groaned with delight. "Some do. Some men know that giving pleasure makes the whole thing better. But they don't have women's bodies, so they don't know what we like. Have you never made love before?"

Elisabeth had loosened the tie that held up Giuliana's skirt and let the garment fall to the floor. "Love?  No, I have never made love.," she answered bitterly. Elisabeth undid the drawstring of the woman's shift and drew the neckline over her shoulders to expose her breasts. She sighed as she saw them. She leaned to take a nipple in her mouth, licking and sucking.

Elisabeth learned delights that night that she could never have imagined. Giuliana's hands on her breasts made them seem to swell with pleasure. After the woman had lowered herself where they lay on the bed and started to tickle between her lips within her mound's soft downy hair she felt as if someone had touched her in her in a most sensitive place with cold steel. Her orgasm came slowly, reaching inside her more sharply and strongly than she ever had through her own tentative explorations. She found herself crying out, sobbing, and moaning. She writhed on the bed, then lay gasping.

"Let me do that to you!" she pleaded. Spreading Giuliana's lips and taking in the rich aroma of her sex, Elisabeth dipped her tongue in a salty-sweet woman's brew. She tried to remember the technique the woman had used on her. Whether she did it as well or not, the woman responded. As her cries and moans became louder, Elisabeth begged, "Say, 'Fuck me, Elias!'" The woman smiled and complied. Elisabeth hoped the mercenaries were listening.

Settling into each other's arms, the two women took turns resting their heads on the other's shoulder. Elisabeth discovered she was thinking how this soft, warm cuddling was almost-almost-as wonderful as what they had done first. The comfortable laziness was far from chaste however, as they reached to stroke some special spot on the other and the more active lovemaking recommenced.

At the sound of a cockcrow, Elisabeth sat up, unsure at first where she was. Then she felt and smelled Giuliana next to her. Leaning over she put one arm around her and pressed her breasts against the warm smooth back. Her hand rested on a breast. She heard Giuliana sigh. "What is your real name, Elias?" the woman crooned.

"Elisabeth," she whispered.

"Grazie, Elisabeta," the woman said.

She turned her head to be kissed. Elisabeth did as she was expected.

They both started when a fist hammered on the door. "Elias! That's enough. Time to get mounted." It was Ranulf's voice, interrupted then with guffaws.

Ruggiero's voice jested, "Don't tell him to mount. In fact, he probably already is in the saddle." More laughter.

Elisabeth called out, consciously deepening her voice. "Can't you wait? I will be out in a minute."

Three male voices made lewd sounds.

"All right, but hurry. Conrad wants to get back on the road."

"Already?" Elisabeth groaned.

After a short time, the door to the room swung in. Elisabeth, fully clothed, stood with a mostly naked Giuliana in her arms locked in a deep kiss.

The four men out on the rickety gallery stared. The whore had her hands clasped on Elisabeth's buttocks. "Come back, my lord, I beg you. I have never been fucked like that before. I want it again and again."

     Elisabeth gratefully smiled into the woman's twinkling eyes. "I already did that. All night." She bent in for a last long kiss. "Arrivederci, bella," she said gently, then turned to the mercenaries. "Well, what are we waiting for?"

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1.2.10

Tell Them Katy Did

http://bookworld.editme.com/comethisway I noted that there are few lesbian posts so decided I'd share this story. It's from my anthology, Come This Way (Regal Crest Books)

Tell Them Katy Did by Victor J. Banis


"You're being followed."
"Huh?" I said, not very brightly. She had spoken in a whisper, but the effect was the same as if she had shouted. The voice, practically in my ear, made me jump. I hadn't heard anybody even approaching me, would have sworn I was entirely alone on the street. A woman, walking by yourself late at night, you needed to be careful. I had thought I was. Where the hell had she come from?
I looked sideways. A stranger, cute, young, white-blonde hair. In the moonlight, her eyes, staring hard into mine, looked fashioned of silver.
"What did you say?" I was still having trouble getting a handle on this. What was going on here?
"Not so loud," she said, still whispering, "I said, you're being followed. No, don't look. If they know you're on to them, they'll take after you."
"They who? And who the hell are you?"
"They're gangbangers, five of them. They've been tailing you since you left the Midnight Oil."
"Why?"
Her smile was mirthless. "Why do you think?"
"Well, yeah, but, Jesus, that's four, five blocks. If that's what they wanted to do…"
A car went by. I saw as it passed that it was a cop car. The guy on the passenger side glanced over at us, said something to the driver. I thought about flagging them down, but by the time I'd had that idea, they were gone, disappearing down the street. Another car went by in the opposite direction, a woman, driving alone, staring steadfastly straight ahead.
"That's why," she said. "It's too public here. They're waiting for you to turn down one of the side streets, where they can do it without witnesses."
"This is crazy," I said. "I live down Adams Street. It's like a tomb there, no street lights, everybody'll be in bed by this time. You mean as soon as I turn down there, try to go home, they'll come after me? What am I supposed to do? Shouldn't we start running now, or something? Try to get away from them before I get to my street?"
"Worst thing you could do," she said. "It's like a mountain lion, someone starts to run, it gets the cat excited, he goes after them. That's what they like, these guys, they want to know that you're scared, it turns them on."
I was scared, and getting more so by the minute. Two women, five guys, probably hopped up on something. "What, then?" I asked, my voice going up in pitch, even though we were still whispering.
"Then…this," she said, and gave me a sudden shove. We were at a corner, one of those dark side streets she had mentioned, and before I knew it, we were around it. "Now we run," she said, grabbing my arm to emphasize her words.
We did. I thought I heard a shout behind me, and I wondered if we could really outrun them. I jog, not as regularly as I should—not as regularly as I now wished I did—but it was almost two A. M., and I'd had half a dozen beers at The Midnight Oil. I hadn't planned on any track practice.
"Here," she said, grabbing my arm, and pulling me through a tall, open gate, and behind stone walls, thick and ivy covered.
We were in a cemetery, the old Saint Agnes cemetery, no longer used since they'd built the new one at the edge of town. She tugged, me, breathing a little too hard, behind a big stone angel on an oversized pedestal, the kind of monument no one put up today. I was glad someone had, whenever. I dropped to my knees in damp grass.
Just in time, too. I heard footsteps running past beyond the wall, deep, male voices exchanging barely discernable remarks: "…a car down there, maybe she…where'd she…fuckin' bitch…"
"They'll come back," I said, starting to get up, "They'll look for us. We need to get out of here."
"No," she said, her hand on my leg. "No, they'll give it up, now that you're gone. I know these guys. By now, they're a block or more away. They'll just keep going. It's what they do."
"You know these guys?" I was kind of torn, wanting to run, the primitive animal instinct, and trusting her. She'd rescued me, hadn't she, when I hadn't even known I was in danger, hadn't known I needed rescuing?
And, there was that hand on my leg. For a long moment we looked at one another, kneeling in the wet grass behind a cemetery angel. Her eyes locked on mine, a half smile curving her pretty lips. She was beautiful. I hadn't had time before really to register that. The Midnight Oil. She knew where I had been, then, and there was only one reason a single woman would go to The Midnight Oil—and it wasn't to pick up a man.
For a long time, her hand was motionless, but it began to move, then, ever so slowly, sliding up my leg, her touch hardly more substantial than the late night breeze that blew over us. Her smile widened. I relaxed, sat back down, smiled a little nervously back at her. I'd never done anything like this, never even fantasized anything remotely like it: a stranger, in a cemetery, at two in the morning, having just escaped from a pack of gangbangers with rape—at least—on their minds?
That, in any case, had left the adrenaline pumping. I was breathing hard, not from the escape alone. She leaned forward, cupping my chin in one hand, and kissed me, lightly. A hand on my shoulder guided me back, lowered me gently into the grass. This was crazy, it was wild—and undeniably hot.
She tugged my blouse open. I didn't wear a bra. My breasts were not large, but they were round and firm. I had been told by more than one woman that they were delicious to behold.
She thought so, obviously. Her mouth left mine, moved down, licked a nipple and took it into her mouth. I know some women say that doesn't turn them on. It does me. Not with a man, but invariably, when a woman does it. The nipple hardened. She gave her head a toss and that long, blonde hair spilled over me, brushed across the other breast, electrifying me. I might have said something, I'm not sure. I was too focused on her, on what she was doing. She was some kind of fantasy cross between butch and femme, cheerleader pretty, beauty queen feminine, and alpha-male-aggressive in a way you wouldn't have imagined, seeing her. I lifted up slightly when she pulled at my jeans, deft fingers managing the zipper with uncanny ease, the silken hair brushing now across my belly.
I was already wet. She sighed, low and throaty, when she discovered that.
"Pretty," she said. "Pretty pretty."
#
"This is so crazy," I said, sitting up, adjusting my clothes. "I don't even know your name."
"Katy," she said. "Katy did."
"Katy did?"
She laughed, not much more than the rustle of the breeze in the tree nearby. "Just a nickname, something people called me."
She stood up. I did the same, brushing grass and leaves from my jeans, and looked toward the street beyond the cemetery gate. "Will it be safe now, do you think?" I asked.
"Yes," she said.
We walked together to the gate, paused on the sidewalk. The street was dark, empty, utterly silent. Wherever our would-be assailants had gone, they hadn't hung around here.
"Which way are you going?" I asked.
"The opposite." She moved as if to leave.
"Where will I find you?" I asked, and blushed at my own audacity. I was not as a rule the one to take charge in a relationship. Mostly, I hung back, let the other set the pace, but something about her…she was unlike anyone I'd ever met before. What had just happened was unlike anything that had ever happened to me before. "If, well, you know." I stammered, feeling like a silly schoolgirl, "I'd like to see you again. Something a little less exciting…oh, I don't mean that, exactly, I mean…"
She laughed again. "I know what you mean," she said. "Do you know In Your Face?"
"I know where it is," I said. "I've only been in town a few months. Do you hang out there?"
"Tell them Katy sent you," she said. "Tell them Katy did." She looked up and down the street, and smiled at me. "Better not hang around here."
I looked too. There was no one to be seen. She'd said they were gone—but you never knew.
When I looked back, she had vanished, as quickly, as noiselessly, as she had appeared in the first place.
Where had she gone? There hadn't been time for her to reach the street corner and disappear around it. I looked in the direction of the cemetery. A short cut, maybe, to…to wherever she was going.
I gave a little involuntary shiver. She was right, though, best not hang around here. It was late, really late now. This time of night, the predators were out. That other gang wouldn't be the only ones. I gave my jeans a tug and started toward home, hurrying, glancing around from time to time, in case anybody else had gotten the scent.
#
There are two lesbian bars in our city. The Midnight Oil was discreet, set off to itself in a quasi-industrial zone, no neighbors to complain, to see you going in and out and cluck disapprovingly, maybe tell someone at work.
In Your Face was the other bar, and its name said it all. It was not discreet. It sat at the end of a strip mall. If you went there in the daytime, you might run into one of your co-workers exiting KFC with the lunch run, or a neighbor just heading into The Bon Ton. Anytime, you were likely to be seen. The girls who hung out there didn't care. They were the marchers, the pickets, the headline grabbers. People called them the In-Your-Face crowd, and it fit.
I was still pretty new to the game, wasn't yet that outspoken, not yet that out. I'd heard of In Your Face maybe my second day in town, from a straight acquaintance.
"I wouldn't even walk past that place by myself," she said, rolling her eyes. "Those dykes, you never know. You might disappear and never be heard from again."
I hadn't been there, and maybe never would have gotten around to it, but the memory of Katy, Katy-did, haunted me. I kept seeing her, in the moonlight, her silver hair spilled across my belly and thighs—and feeling her. She'd been great, the best I'd ever had. Not that my experience bank was so vast, but it was hard to imagine anything better than what she had done. I got wet all over again, remembering it.
I waited a week, and finally, could wait no longer. I went a little after ten, late enough that the neighboring stores were closed, not so late as to be conspicuous walking through a mall parking lot.
There was a modest crowd, a trio of butches playing pool, a couple of femmes dancing together to a Melissa Manchester song, a quartet in a booth, talking animatedly.
I went to the bar. The bartender was tough looking, and big, not fat, but big, six foot tall, at least, and built like a football tackle. Her hair was butch-cut and she wore no make up. If she hadn't been big chested, and it had been a different bar, I might have thought she was a man.
She gave me a cautious smile. "What'll you have?" she asked, her voice a whiskey baritone.
I ordered a Rolling Rock and glanced around. One of the pool players gave me the eye, and I got a fleeting impression that I was now the topic of conversation with the group in the booth. New faces always arouse interest, in a lesbian bar, in a small town. Everybody mostly knows everybody local. Nobody knew me.
"You're new in town?" the waitress asked, loading drinks on a tray at the service station next to me.
"A few months," I said.
"What brings you here?"
"Someone suggested I stop by. I was kind of hoping she would be here." I looked around the room again.
"Anybody we might know?" The bartender sat my beer in front of me. The waitress had her drinks on her tray, but she lingered, curious to hear the answer.
"Katy," I said. "Said to say she had sent me. Said to say, Katy did."
To say I created a sensation is to put it mildly. As luck would have it, Melissa's song had finished, and I picked one of those moments when everything seemed to pause. The waitress dropped her tray. It bounced off the wood floor, glasses and ice splashing everywhere. The pool players, the dancers, the booth group, everybody was staring at me, mouths open, expressions astonished.
"You trying to be funny?" the bartender asked.
"No, I…what's wrong?"
"Katy, you say? Katy did?"
I nodded, bewildered. "Yes. Blonde chick, pretty, very pretty. Do you know her?"
"Sorry about the drinks, Beau," the waitress said. "Set 'em up again, I'll pay for this round."
"Forget it," Beau said. "Better clean up that glass and shit, though, before somebody steps in it."
She busied herself remaking the round of drinks, setting them on the bar for the waitress. I thought she was going to just ignore me, but when she had that done, she went to a drawer under the liquor shelves, opened it, and took something out. She came back to where I was sitting, and laid a newspaper on the bar in front of me. The picture on the front page leapt out at me. It was my Katy, I was sure of it. Only…the headline read, "Girl dies from vicious assault."
"Recognize her?" Beau asked.
"Well, I…" It couldn't think what to say. "It looks like her, sure, but, well, it couldn't be, could it? It says here, she died."
"Almost a year ago," she said. "A bunch of punks. Caught her, shortly after she left here, as a matter of fact. Worked her over pretty bad. They say she looked like so much raw meat when they were done."
"I'm sorry. She must have been a friend of yours." My thoughts were whirling. I gave her a rueful look. "Maybe somebody was playing a rotten joke, telling me to use her name."
She looked at me long and hard. "Look," she said, giving me another Rolling Rock. "Why don't you grab that empty booth over there, and I'll join you in a minute. Annie, how about spelling me?"
"Sure," the waitress said, coming back from her drink delivery. She lifted the counter and slid behind the bar.
I went to the empty booth as told, pretending I didn't notice all the sideways glances I was getting from the rest of the patrons. Beau got herself a Bud and came to join me, scooting into the booth across from me. The jukebox started up again, Janis this time. The pool players racked their balls. The quartet in the other booth found something of interest to talk about.
"I feel like a shit," I said. "The way everybody reacted, I guess this Katy was someone special."
"She was," Beau said, taking a drink from her bottle and eyeing me steadily. "She was, I guess you would say, our leader. Always took charge, always had the answers, everybody's best friend. Always the first to jump in the pool. Totally fearless. People in here, we thought of her as some kind of goddess, if you can imagine that."
"How did it happen?" I asked.
She shrugged. "She left here, just before closing. They must have been hanging around, waiting for someone to come out alone. Ordinarily she'd have been on her bike, but there was some trouble with it, so she was walking. She only lived about four blocks from here, no one thought anything of it. They caught her just before she got home, six of them."
"Did they catch them? The guys?"
She snorted. "Oh, yeah, they caught them. One of them's in jail, not for the rape, though, or the murder. He used her credit cards. They busted him on that. Six months."
"The others?"
"Dead," she said.
"Executed? That fast?" I didn't know much about the criminal justice system, but I had never heard of things happening in that big a hurry.
She gave her head a shake, took another sip of her beer. "No. Shit no. You know how the judicial joke works. A technicality. Someone questioned them after they'd said they wanted a lawyer. The judge threw everything out, said their rights had been violated. Their rights. And Katy dead. Sucks, doesn't it?"
"Totally. But, you said…they're dead. I don't get it…?"
"The other five, yeah. No thanks to the legal system. Just a bizarre series of accidents."
"Accidents? What kind of accidents?"
"One of them was out deer hunting, got shot by another hunter."
"A friend, you mean?"
She shrugged. "Who knows. Nobody came forward. Would you? Who cares, he was a worthless piece of shit."
"What about the others. Surely they weren't all shot by careless hunters?"
"Oh, no. One of them was the victim of a hit-and-run driver. Happened not far from here, about three blocks, actually, almost the same spot where they caught Katy. He was crossing the street, late at night, that corner's pretty dark, and, pow, just like that. They say he was dead before he hit the sidewalk. Someone must have been going like a bat out of hell."
I sat staring across the booth at her, thinking that surely I wasn't hearing what I was hearing. I couldn't think what to say.
"Then, one of them, he got careless, they think he set his couch on fire smoking crack, things were already pretty hot by the time he woke up, but when he tried to run out of his trailer, the door was stuck, he couldn't get it open. That's what the firemen said, at least." She took another sip, regarding me with no expression. "Burned to a crisp. Better than the electric chair."
"And I guess the others had the same kinds of accidents," I said, when it became apparent she was waiting for me to say something. I didn't think I wanted to hear about the rest of them.
"Pretty much. Bizarre, isn't it? Sometimes justice happens in funny ways."
"And the sixth one, you said he's in jail still."
"Yeah." She nodded. "He gets out in three weeks and two days. And," she turned to look at the clock over the bar, "Forty-four minutes."
#
It was all too mysterious for me. Who was the woman who had rescued me the week before? Not Katy, certainly—but why had she played that ugly joke on me, telling me to mention Katy's name when I went to the bar? What kind of sicko would do that?
And, had the women from In Your Face really played vigilante. I'd never heard of anything like it. Beau sure hadn't sounded like she was joking, though.
I had another beer, chatted with Beau—casual stuff, small talk, not wanting to hear any more about Katy's killers and the "justice" that had befallen them, certainly not wanting to hear what kind of justice might be in store for number six when he got out of jail in a little over three weeks time. I felt pretty sure he was going to prove accident-prone. Better I knew nothing.
After that, I left, started the walk home. It was after midnight now, the mall quiet, the streets around it mostly deserted. No sounds but my own footsteps.
Until, a voice said, right next to me, practically in my ear, "You're being followed."

19.12.09

Out of the Night, by Sara Lansing

This is part of a cycle of shorts, an experimental collection of stories about a person trapped (as are we all, if you subscribe to the philosophy) on the wheel of reincarnation, travelling forever through lives which appear to be without purpose. Sometimes incarnating as male, sometimes as female, in each life s/he will eventually become cognisant of this cosmic disjunction and begin to actively pursue the mystery of who s/he really is and what her/his existence is really for. Set in ancient Japan, in this installment of "The Chronicals of I, the Nameless" the incarnation is female and it seems reality is at last to be answered in the only currency that truly matters. Is this the way out of existence without purpose?

______________________


The cold wind cuts like a knife.

Here I stand, alone with the wolves. Nothing changes, except by my will, and that is the soul of survival. The wolves are circling, I hear their tread, stealthy as they may be though in these conditions none of us is silent. But they are hesitant: their prey waits for them and they are afraid.

Let them be! The wind that blusters over these angry mountains worries at my robes, tugging ceaselessly, as it crackles the banners of the Sosonowo Shrine across the Bridge of Air, and I feel the world circling as if this spot is the centre of the universe. For me it has become so in this desperate moment.

Darkness. Wind over the peaks, the crunch of snow under my boots... My gloved hands are warm in the sleeves of my robe, and I stretch out to track the four bandits. I know the guards of the shrine are watching from across the way, but they will not intervene. They know me and they know why I am here.

For a moment I stretch out with my senses and feel the warm glow of the one I love. She is there, safe within those walls, so near at hand now. These final challenges have been the hard road to her side... Track her down in these wild mountains, follow the bandits who took her from her home, the merchants whose hands she passed through, traced her escape, learned of her encounter with the monks of the peaks and her safe haven here at the roof of the world.

Climb the mountain. Brave the storm. Fight the bandits. And, if victorious, cross the Bridge of Air, that final leap of faith by which, after all my tortured incarnations, I might reach at last that nexus of life and love that has eluded me, I feel in my depths, since my soul made its red entrance to this universe.

No sound save the wind and our footsteps, no light reaches my eyes. In this dark place I fight alone, as I have ever done battle, down the long ages the wheel of life has turned. When they make their move my katana sings from its sheath at my side faster than the eye can follow, and weaves a web of flickering energy -- contacts the blades of my foes in bursts of sparks, chiming thinly in the mountain air, stroke, parry, thrust, feint, all by the superhuman senses a warrior’s training brings forth. I hear a scream and know a man is down, though in a split second I have moved on to another opponent, parry, block, thrust, and the dance goes on.

Breathing is the tidal flow that sustains life. As the sea moves, the rivers flow, and the clouds blow around these peaks, so the smaller rhythms within ourselves mark the moments of our lives, rhythms from the breath that is life for the next few moments, to the cycle of our bodies with the Moon Goddess that brings forth life in its turn. Life and death are a cycle, and it is the eternal prayer of the warrior that when life finds its end on the edge of my sword, that it shall return renewed, refreshed, and with optimism for the span to come.

Four times this shall be, on this snowy shoulder of the peaks. Two screams. Three. I smell blood in the air, then the final rush and mad flurry of blows as swords hammer and clash, and our battle is made a punctuation point in eternity.

And at last I am alone. Did I ever doubt it? With all my heart, yes. My existence has taught me only to hope against hope that all I cherish shall someday be the meaning of an existence without end or reward. So it is with a strange sense of release that I stand in the chill wind among the four bodies, raise my sword to the sky above, and at last free the bindings of black across my face.

White light strikes my eyes like knives, a blinding reflection from the snow under a watery blue among fang-like peaks, and the red of blood is a cruel intrusion upon this place of pristine nature. Far too bright a place in which to do battle, it is preferable to adopt the tactics of night, and fight as do the blind. This is not the dark place that drags down the soul, it is the nexus of light that leads it forward.

I clean my blade on a bandit’s cloak and return it to the lacquered scabbard at my side, and stride on across the snowy slope toward the gorge that cuts this peak, and beyond which the Shrine of the Storm God stands atop a massive pillar of native rock. The gorge was once spanned by the bridge across which the materials of building were taken, but when the temples and buildings were completed, long centuries ago, the bridge was dismantled, leaving the monks of the Storm isolated on their fierce crag, across a gulf of air spanned by a thin ribbon of snowy stone.

The Bridge of Air.

No handrail, no guide rope, serves the pilgrim. This is where faith is matched by action, for the seeker must cross this windy vastness unaided, and no help shall come: live or die, it shall be by one’s own strength and will force. Will the bridge give way? Shall it hold another hundred years? No one knows, and that is the leap of faith we all must make to approach this sacred place.

For me it is no leap: my love has already made this crossing, so be it to death itself I shall follow. I would throw myself from this mountain to be at her side.

Above the gatehouse of the Shrine the hooded monks watch, their robes tugged by the wind that strains the standards of the Storm God, and their faces are impassive. They have watched seekers by the thousand come this way, and those who reach not the gates but the next life are blessed on their journey with a whole heart. But my step is sure in the fighting wind that seeks to tear me from the snowy arch of rock, and as it seems I walk in the endless sky itself my heart could fly as truly as an eagle.

Closer, closer, and as the stone and timber gates of the Shrine grow before me, I feel a strange release beginning. A new perspective, as if I stand outside myself, something unlike any state I have ever known. Are all my existences coming together here and now? The lonely millennia reaching their focal point? More moves now than simple human destiny, my body is tingling with expectancy, and the desperate hope that this time I will complete the journey -- one I feel sure I have attempted many times in misty ages gone by.

And before I know it, I am on the pillar of rock, before the tall, ancient timbers of the gatehouse, and at a call from above those gates swing open, their hinges grinding as if rarely ever used...

A garden, protected from the elements by the stout walls, sculptured trees and bushes surround a pond now frozen for the winter, and a delegation of monks bow their welcome, hands folded in the wide sleeves of their robes. Among them is a slight figure, muffled in heavy robes for warmth but unmistakable as the day we met on that warm riverbank long ago. She steps forward and fine, small hands draw back a hood, baring a a beautiful face to the sun that floods this courtyard.

I draw back my own, feeling the wind bite and tug my bound hair, and I go to her one faltering step at a time. All of space and time turn on this moment, I now know, and when I take her in my arms it is with feelings that are too vast to be measured.

Not since the time of Tomoe Gozen and Yamabuki have women Samurai walked this land with open prowess, and the monks do homage to the skill they have witnessed. For my part I can only experience a warmth I have never known, and it seems I glimpse my past lives, wanderers, seekers, all over the world and all through time and space, all in quest of this one simple thing.

The love that brings meaning to life.

18.12.09

Extract from "Windstream" by Sara Lansing, CONTINUED




From WINDSTREAM by Sara Lansing, meet Drs Alex Layton and Mai Ling Reed, on ‘shoreleave’ from the city-sized airship Montgolfier I, visiting with vulcanologists studying an eruption in the Solomon Islands. The party have taken shelter at a resort hotel out of the line of volcanic fallout, among thrillseekers and spectators watching the fire-fountains in the night, but it seems an assassin stalks the scientists. Exhausted, the pair retire for an uneasy night...

Fatigue was a companion now. They had been awake over twenty hours, since the airship had sighted the volcano from hundreds of kilometres out. They soon they took their leave of the vulcanologists and ambled back to their room.

Even now Alex was on her guard, and checked the place carefully before she locked up behind them. It seemed almost funny to take such precautions after daring fate, and Mai Ling found herself laughing for no reason she could name. The mild hysteria took a few moments to settle. She sat on the end of a bed and wrung her hands, a gesture Alex had not seen in years.

“Hey ...” the Australian whispered, putting a hand over Mai Ling’s to still their motion. “Gently, sweetheart. Gently ...”

“Somebody tried to kill us,” Mai Ling replied, just as softly.

“Maybe,” Alex cautioned, sending an arm around her wife. “We can’t be sure. And we knew we were gambling our lives when we decided to swim against the current.”

“I know.” Mai Ling closed her eyes. “It’s easy to be a bold idealist when you’re 60 kilometres up in the sky. Down here, a bullet is very final. And down here is where the politicians live.”

“Not really.” Alex smiled as Mai Ling opened her eyes. “They have their own ivory towers ... their own concerns ... they have very little to do with ordinary people, except at election time. They understand people. That’s what makes them politicians.”

“Alex, are we offering up our lives futilely?” The question was level, quiet, haunted.

Finding an answer took time, but when Alex spoke it was with a sunny smile. “No one can second-guess tomorrow, darling. And no one can play our game better than we ourselves. We wouldn’t have started it if we didn’t think we could finish it as well.” She squeezed Mai Ling’s shoulders. “Remember how we felt when we reached that last flag and looked at the volcano, up close?”

“Oh, yes.” A tiny sparkle glittered behind Mai Ling’s eyes.

“Remember the heat, that wind, the sound of it. Wasn’t that the same adrenalin rush as the first time you stepped out of the ship in a pressure suit, at 65,000 metres?”

“Yes. No different at that level.” The Eurasian girl smiled now. “I know where you’re going with this. You’re saying, enjoy the ride ... feed on the danger. Let it happen, stay on the horse no matter what.”

“Exactly.” Alex let her lips trace Mai Ling’s neck, felt arms go around her back, and in another breath they were grappling with an excitement that had been too long on hold. Bravado could carry them only so far, they were both wanting it badly. The unreality of wagering their lives, the future and the world as they knew it, generated a hot, urgent wanting.

When their lips parted Mai Ling panted, “I need it so bad ...”

They relaxed for a few moments, shrugging out of jumpsuits and underwear, kicking sport shoes across the room, and Alex unzipped her pack to find something. “I had a feeling we might get the chance while we were off the ship, so I brought along our old friend just in case.”

Mai Ling left one lamp burning by the other bed and lay back, panting shallowly, heart pounding. The beat made her small, high breasts quiver as she watched Alex bring out the makings of sex. A silver drawstring bag opened and Alex produced a tube of lubricant, then drew out their double-ended penetrator. The size and form of a generous double-erection, it was molded in softly yielding wine-red plastic, glass-smooth, translucent; and was fitted with elastic straps that fit either of them.

Alex’s hands trembled faintly as she unscrewed the tube and ran a bead of clear gel the length of one erection, and Mai Ling watched with a fascination, ever-fresh, as her partner worked the gel around the dully-gleaming shaft, then put it to her lower lips, found the channel and began to take it in.

That something so prominent could glide so swiftly within a living woman’s body never failed to amaze and excite them both. What seemed only moments later, Alex was wiping her fingers and closing velcro about her haunches. She was panting also now, moving carefully as she handled the sensations of the cool, deep presence. She reached down to lubricate the other end, her gleaming, rampant erection. At last she set aside the tube — standing with a flushed face and rigid nipples, presenting an image that confused the sexes in delicious schism — and Mai Ling lay back and spread her arms.

Alex was never more conscious of the difference in size between herself and her partner than when they came together. She had 15 kilos on Mai Ling, and was never so abandoned that she let her weight hurt her partner. She took herself on her arms and waited a beat as Mai Ling spread her legs wide, found the penetrator and eased it into herself. Alex mewled with pleasure as the member filling her moved unpredictably, then she began to bear down gently, twitching her hips.

The lack of tactile feedback made it somewhat guesswork, but she had learned to read, through the walls of her vagina, what was happening at the other end of the plastic shaft, and she eased slowly as Mai Ling arched her back and closed her eyes.

The smaller woman was stretching, stretching to accommodate the member, relaxing from her normal state to one of total arousal. When at last Alex felt her belly smooth against that of her partner, she also relaxed for a few moments.

They began to kiss, mouth exploring mouth, and Alex felt arms around her shoulders, nails that scratched slowly down her back. This was the prelude, and she felt her hips begin to move almost of their own accord. Every thrust into Mai Ling was a thrust into herself: the most incredible duality the mind could imagine, to be both active and receptive in the same motion. She had done something similar with a boyfriend long ago, but this was not a transitory experiment ... this was the very way it was done. Slowly her rhythm built, and Mai Ling panted as her features flushed with pleasure.

The same feelings were bombarding Alex’s brain and body. She felt the warm knot somewhere in her abdomen tensing like a fist ... or, she thought, like a flower awaiting the sun’s touch to open and spread luminous petals throughout her body. But reaching that first blink of sunrise was the mountain they climbed. Her back tensed up with thrusting, and she relaxed for a few moments, rising on her arms and seating deeply inside Mai Ling.

As they rested, Mai Ling reached up to stroke and fondle Alex’s breasts. They were heavier than her own, and swaying deliciously. Then she bent her neck to apply her lips to each hard, pink-brown nipple in turn, sending electric shocks through Alex which made the bigger woman flinch and gasp, driving the penetrator randomly back and forth.

Soon Alex began to thrust again, and felt Mai Ling’s hips rise in return strokes, sending the other member deeper into Alex. Then Mai Ling flung her legs around Alex’s back and dragged their hips together in a firm lock that made them both gasp and shudder. Now thrusting was limited. Mai Ling was making it last longer, and they wrangled breathlessly for minutes more, sweaty and supremely aware of each other’s chemistry.

Closer, closer ... the sun was ready to rise, the trick was making both suns rise together. In the glow of the lamp Alex saw Mai Ling’s features in an open-mouthed grimace of joy as her nervous system approached overload point, her lips dark with the flood of blood that washed out from her inner circulation.

Alex raised the tempo, hitting her peak at the fastest thrust her own body would tolerate. The lubricant was almost spent, friction was firing off nerves throughout her pelvis, and with her great shout of elation the sun broke the horizon. As she felt the heat of its rays, her last hope was that Mai Ling had reached daylight also, then she lost all objectivity and went spinning like a leaf blown on the wind, drifting in the sky for an unknown time.

When Alex blinked into the lamplight she found herself relaxed over Mai Ling, and their hands were entwined She lifted her weight at once, and Mai Ling opened her eyes, her face in the repose that came only after she also had scaled the heights.

“Thank you,” the Eurasian girl whispered, and drew Alex’s head down for one final, sweet kiss of gratitude.

***

Dawn was a silver gleam through the blind when Mai Ling stirred. She was cuddled into Alex’s arms; they had a single sheet over them in the warm tropical air, and had slept the rest of the exhausted since they had showered in the early hours. For a moment Mai Ling wondered what had roused her, then she heard hurrying feet, and somewhere an engine was started. Then another ... the grunt of diesels from the marina, and the sudden whine of jets from the helipad.

She stirred, found Alex’s hand around her middle and squeezed it. “Honey, wake up.”

Before Alex blinked awake they heard a heavy tread on the step of their chalet and an urgent knocking.

‘Leblanc’s’ voice was in their ears at once. “Mademoiselles! Doctor Reed, Doctor Layten, wake up!”

Alex sat up at once, raked her hair from her eyes and saw 6.58 on the digital clock. “François, what is it?”

“The wind has shifted again, the hotel is being evacuated!”

The pair were out of bed in a blink. The lamp went on as they groped for underwear and jumpsuits. “We’re coming,” Mai Ling called. “Two minutes!”

“That’s about how long you have!” he replied. “The planes are coming from your airship, we see their lights. Everyone is to be evacuated, north to Anoano!” He rapped on their door to emphasis his point. “Quickly!”

They closed the velcro of their shoes with quickfire movements, threw every lose item into their packs and found hair-ties and sunglasses as they kicked open the door.

The sight that greeted them was incongruous, for it was snowing ... a fine fall of volcanic ash had begun, a blanket of white that settled over palm trees and beach, a bizarre Christmas scene in the tropics. The ash had already coated the swimming pool’s waters, erased the lines of the tennis courts, and was being scuffed away from the decks of boats as they put out of the marina.

The staff were looking after the guests as desperate headcounts were made, and all the while the yellow air-cabs raced up and down the coast to the villages. The plume had left the north end of the island untouched, and the cabs would shuttle people north in a series of rapid jumps.

Meanwhile, the running lights of the Icarus and the Pegasus blinked in the early morning sky, approaching from the airship eleven or twelve kilometres downrange from the hotel. The planes were running in the shadow of the fallout; the rising sun was on the other side of the entire eruption and it would be hours before the west coast saw full daylight.

The girls headed for the helipads and found ‘Leblanc’ and his people lugging gear from a nearby chalet. “What’s the plan?” Mai Ling called over the rumble of engines.

“We’re driving north,” ‘Leblanc’ called back. “It’s safe a few kilometres up the coast, and we need to reestablish our monitoring base, this was always our intention.” He put out a hand and shook with each of them, bobbing his head in an old-fashioned bow of courtesy to ladies. “Safe journey, mademoiselles, and safe tomorrows. This is where out paths part, I’m afraid.” He nodded into the southern sky. “Your carriage awaits!”

Moments later, the two VTOL shuttles from the Montgolfier vectored their wings as they came into the hover. They waited for a cab to clear the airspace, then alighted on the helipad in formation, and their fanjets shut back to a whistling roar.

Alex and Mai Ling saw Brigit in one cockpit, Iryna in the other. The hotel staff had marshalled a line of guests in the access area. Before they could move forward, Brigit used the aircraft’s loud-hailer, a hand at her headset.

“Doctors Reed and Layten first aboard, please. Then we can manage fourteen more on this run. We’ll be back in twelve minutes. From the looks of the fallout two, maybe three more trips is all we have time for. Move it!”

Alex and Mai Ling jogged toward the accessway, slithering a little in pumice underfoot. The air was hot and heavy. The stink of chemicals was starting to burn their noses, and when Alex was snatched sideways into a wire fence she thought Mai Ling had stumbled into her. But Mai Ling had a hand out to haul her back to her feet, and together they passed the line of guests. They ignored the angry shouts, the raised hands and shoving as they were perceived to be queue-jumpers, and ducked through to the pad.

They stepped aboard the Icarus and scrambled into seats, pushing their packs into the stowage bay. Alex hung in her seat, looking back into the bay for a long moment, then turned and closed her harness as fourteen hotel guests were counted off and passed through to the two aircraft.

Mai Ling caught her eye and knew something was wrong, but as they held on for the copilot to check that all harnesses were closed, and seal up the hatch, Alex shook her head faintly.

Later, was her message. She had no intention of telling Mai Ling here and now that a bullet had just gone through her backpack.

17.12.09

Extract from "Windstream"

From WINDSTREAM by Sara Lansing, meet Drs Alex Layton and Mai Ling Reed, on ‘shoreleave’ from the city-sized airship Montgolfier I, visiting with vulcanologists studying an eruption in the Solomon Islands. The party have taken shelter at a resort hotel out of the line of volcanic fallout, among thrillseekers and spectators watching the fire-fountains in the night, but it seems an assassin stalks the scientists…

Fatigue was a companion now. They had been awake over twenty hours, since the airship had sighted the volcano from hundreds of kilometres out. They soon they took their leave of the vulcanologists and ambled back to their room.

Even now Alex was on her guard, and checked the place carefully before she locked up behind them. It seemed almost funny to take such precautions after daring fate, and Mai Ling found herself laughing for no reason she could name. The mild hysteria took a few moments to settle. She sat on the end of a bed and wrung her hands, a gesture Alex had not seen in years.

“Hey ...” the Australian whispered, putting a hand over Mai Ling’s to still their motion. “Gently, sweetheart. Gently ...”

“Somebody tried to kill us,” Mai Ling replied, just as softly.

“Maybe,” Alex cautioned, sending an arm around her wife. “We can’t be sure. And we knew we were gambling our lives when we decided to swim against the current.”

“I know.” Mai Ling closed her eyes. “It’s easy to be a bold idealist when you’re 60 kilometres up in the sky. Down here, a bullet is very final. And down here is where the politicians live.”

“Not really.” Alex smiled as Mai Ling opened her eyes. “They have their own ivory towers ... their own concerns ... they have very little to do with ordinary people, except at election time. They understand people. That’s what makes them politicians.”

“Alex, are we offering up our lives futilely?” The question was level, quiet, haunted.
Finding an answer took time, but when Alex spoke it was with a sunny smile. “No one can second-guess tomorrow, darling. And no one can play our game better than we ourselves. We wouldn’t have started it if we didn’t think we could finish it as well.” She squeezed Mai Ling’s shoulders. “Remember how we felt when we reached that last flag and looked at the volcano, up close?”

“Oh, yes.” A tiny sparkle glittered behind Mai Ling’s eyes.

“Remember the heat, that wind, the sound of it. Wasn’t that the same adrenalin rush as the first time you stepped out of the ship in a pressure suit, at 65,000 metres?”

“Yes. No different at that level.” The Eurasian girl smiled now. “I know where you’re going with this. You’re saying, enjoy the ride ... feed on the danger. Let it happen, stay on the horse no matter what.”

“Exactly.” Alex let her lips trace Mai Ling’s neck, felt arms go around her back, and in another breath they were grappling with an excitement that had been too long on hold. Bravado could carry them only so far, they were both wanting it badly. The unreality of wagering their lives, the future and the world as they knew it, generated a hot, urgent wanting.

When their lips parted Mai Ling panted, “I need it so bad ...”

They relaxed for a few moments, shrugging out of jumpsuits and underwear, kicking sport shoes across the room, and Alex unzipped her pack to find something. “I had a feeling we might get the chance while we were off the ship, so I brought along our old friend just in case.”

Mai Ling left one lamp burning by the other bed and lay back, panting shallowly, heart pounding. The beat made her small, high breasts quiver as she watched Alex bring out the makings of sex. A silver drawstring bag opened and Alex produced a tube of lubricant, then drew out their double-ended penetrator. The size and form of a generous double-erection, it was molded in softly yielding wine-red plastic, glass-smooth, translucent; and was fitted with elastic straps that fit either of them.

Alex’s hands trembled faintly as she unscrewed the tube and ran a bead of clear gel the length of one erection, and Mai Ling watched with a fascination, ever-fresh, as her partner worked the gel around the dully-gleaming shaft, then put it to her lower lips, found the channel and began to take it in.

That something so prominent could glide so swiftly within a living woman’s body never failed to amaze and excite them both. What seemed only moments later, Alex was wiping her fingers and closing velcro about her haunches. She was panting also now, moving carefully as she handled the sensations of the cool, deep presence. She reached down to lubricate the other end, her gleaming, rampant erection. At last she set aside the tube — standing with a flushed face and rigid nipples, presenting an image that confused the sexes in delicious schism — and Mai Ling lay back and spread her arms.

Alex was never more conscious of the difference in size between herself and her partner than when they came together. She had 15 kilos on Mai Ling, and was never so abandoned that she let her weight hurt her partner. She took herself on her arms and waited a beat as Mai Ling spread her legs wide, found the penetrator and eased it into herself. Alex mewled with pleasure as the member filling her moved unpredictably, then she began to bear down gently, twitching her hips.

The lack of tactile feedback made it somewhat guesswork, but she had learned to read, through the walls of her vagina, what was happening at the other end of the plastic shaft, and she eased slowly as Mai Ling arched her back and closed her eyes.

The smaller woman was stretching, stretching to accommodate the member, relaxing from her normal state to one of total arousal. When at last Alex felt her belly smooth against that of her partner, she also relaxed for a few moments.

They began to kiss, mouth exploring mouth, and Alex felt arms around her shoulders, nails that scratched slowly down her back. This was the prelude, and she felt her hips begin to move almost of their own accord. Every thrust into Mai Ling was a thrust into herself: the most incredible duality the mind could imagine, to be both active and receptive in the same motion. She had done something similar with a boyfriend long ago, but this was not a transitory experiment ... this was the very way it was done. Slowly her rhythm built, and Mai Ling panted as her features flushed with pleasure.

The same feelings were bombarding Alex’s brain and body. She felt the warm knot somewhere in her abdomen tensing like a fist ... or, she thought, like a flower awaiting the sun’s touch to open and spread luminous petals throughout her body. But reaching that first blink of sunrise was the mountain they climbed. Her back tensed up with thrusting, and she relaxed for a few moments, rising on her arms and seating deeply inside Mai Ling.

As they rested, Mai Ling reached up to stroke and fondle Alex’s breasts. They were heavier than her own, and swaying deliciously. Then she bent her neck to apply her lips to each hard, pink-brown nipple in turn, sending electric shocks through Alex which made the bigger woman flinch and gasp, driving the penetrator randomly back and forth.

Soon Alex began to thrust again, and felt Mai Ling’s hips rise in return strokes, sending the other member deeper into Alex. Then Mai Ling flung her legs around Alex’s back and dragged their hips together in a firm lock that made them both gasp and shudder. Now thrusting was limited. Mai Ling was making it last longer, and they wrangled breathlessly for minutes more, sweaty and supremely aware of each other’s chemistry.

Closer, closer ... the sun was ready to rise, the trick was making both suns rise together. In the glow of the lamp Alex saw Mai Ling’s features in an open-mouthed grimace of joy as her nervous system approached overload point, her lips dark with the flood of blood that washed out from her inner circulation.

Alex raised the tempo, hitting her peak at the fastest thrust her own body would tolerate. The lubricant was almost spent, friction was firing off nerves throughout her pelvis, and with her great shout of elation the sun broke the horizon. As she felt the heat of its rays, her last hope was that Mai Ling had reached daylight also, then she lost all objectivity and went spinning like a leaf blown on the wind, drifting in the sky for an unknown time.

When Alex blinked into the lamplight she found herself relaxed over Mai Ling, and their hands were entwined She lifted her weight at once, and Mai Ling opened her eyes, her face in the repose that came only after she also had scaled the heights.

“Thank you,” the Eurasian girl whispered, and drew Alex’s head down for one final, sweet kiss of gratitude.

To be continued -- stay tuned for more!

16.12.09

THE SECRET TRILOGY by Francine Saint Marie









EXCERPT: 'Seduction' Scene/Book One of The Secret Trilogy (Three novels. Two women. One epic love story.) By Francine Saint Marie
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


After an eternity of foreplay Sharon still wouldn’t penetrate her and Helaine’s womb had begun to hurt from aching for it. The excitement in her chest had turned against her, too, and she felt a sadness there instead, a desire to weep. She sighed miserably into her lover’s neck and upon hearing it Sharon stopped what she was doing, rested her weight on Helaine so she couldn’t get up from the bed.

"Don’t want to play, doctor?"

"Sharon…" Helaine let go of her back and tried to slide out from underneath her, but Sharon went rigid and wouldn’t permit it. "Sharon, please," she said in frustration. Her breasts were tender and the weight on them was unpleasant. She shifted her body to throw her off and Sharon grabbed her by the wrists and pinned her to the pillow. She tongued her stomach, pushing hard into the belly button and Helaine arched her back and sighed again.

"Make love to me, Sharon," she urged. She felt her biting at her nipples again and defensively jerked them away from her mouth. "Don’t. Just make love to me."

"I hate that word," Sharon warned, biting at her neck.

"Don’t do this. Why are you doing this?" Teasing, teasing. She groaned in exasperation. "Make love to me, Sharon."

Sharon laughed into the pillow. "That word. You know I–"

That’s right. Forgot. It had been so long. "Then fuck me–fuck me, if that’s what you like."

Sharon let her wrists go. "Like? What I like?"

"Like. Want. I don’t know," Helaine murmured, rolling onto her stomach. "Whatever."

Every part of her ached. She lay still, thoughts churning, searching for something better to say. Nothing came to mind. Between her legs she was quite swollen. She closed her eyes tight. The brilliant lights. She wanted them off now. Perhaps she could sleep, sleep away the fog that had settled on her soul tonight. Beside her Sharon had fallen ungodly quiet. She could feel the woman’s malice and wasn’t sure where it had come from. Tonight was bad. It was as if she had been watching herself all evening. Nothing seemed natural. She put her hand over her eyes. She hated being speechless.

"How long have I been gone, Helaine?"

"Sharon?"

It had been nine months. Helaine desperately needed sex. Playing games all night had made it an impossibility, too awkward. The woman beside her felt like a stranger, an immovable stranger in her bed, laying motionless and hostile. Why, she didn’t know. "Sharon? What is wrong?"

No response. Perhaps because she hadn’t gone to the flat to look for her? Sharon hated coming uptown. Not her set. Too quiet. "Sharon…?" She listened to the sound of Sharon’s body snaking across the sheets toward her. The touch of a stranger. She jumped at the feel of it and waited for her to speak, trying to interpret her silence.

"Masturbate for me," Sharon finally said, lying heavy on Helaine’s back and probing along her sides.

Helaine tried to turn over. "Sharon…no." A police hold, or something like it. "Don’t be rough with me. I don’t like it."

"Don’t? How long have I been gone, I asked."

"Shar–" Harsh hands. "Nine months."

"Like? Want?" She pushed Helaine’s face into the pillow. "Whatever?"

"Sharon, you’re hurting me. I can’t breathe."

"Love," Sharon teased as she leaned into her, "masturbate for me, I said."

"Sharon…"

"Or else."

"I don’t like this. I really don’t."

Sharon felt between Helaine’s legs. "Liar."

Helaine brought her legs together. It was difficult to breathe.

"Call me darling, Dr. Kristenson. You haven’t–open your legs–called me darling all night."

Darling? Was that true? All night? Helaine lay quiet and still.

"Against your will then, doctor. What do you say to that?"

"I would never forgive you for it."

Sharon attempted to pry her legs apart. "Open, darling," she whispered, jabbing her chin into Helaine’s shoulder blade.

"If you don’t want to you don’t have to. Leave me be, Sharon."

"That would be darling, Dr. Kristenson."

Helaine felt her legs giving. "Please...I said forget it."

"Spread your legs for me."

"Listen to–"

"Do it."

"Sharon, I don’t–" her legs were open now.

The women lay locked in an ugly silence.

Helaine could hear her Sharon’s rapid breathing. Hot breath on her back. "Sharon?" She strained to see her, but couldn’t maneuver it. Sharon pressed down harder. "For godsakes, Sharon," she said through her teeth. "Let me go!"

Sharon released her arms. Helaine tried propping herself up on her elbows and was pushed down again. She listened behind her. "Darling…?" There she said it. The sound of breathing, more weight on her back. "Talk to me, Sharon. Tell me what I’ve done."

"I don’t want to talk. I’m concentrating."

"Concentrating? Please! On what?"

"Fucking you."

Helaine took a quick breath, exhaled. "Then at least let me turn over." More weight. She laid her face back into the pillow.

"You have such a perfect ass, Dr. Kristenson."

Sharon fondled her, running her hand up her sex. Helaine felt moist on her backside.

"The nicest I’ve had in months," Sharon drawled, feeling Helaine’s body stiffen at the offense. She pushed against her anus.

"Sha–"

"You heard about all that, didn’t you?"

Helaine tried once more to get up and failed.

"Easy," Sharon warned, tightening her grip.

Helaine froze.

"Perfect, Helaine Kristenson." She licked the small of her back and entered her in the rectum.

Helaine gasped and tried to fight her off.

Sharon withdrew and held her down again.

"Sharon, don’t do this to me. Please."

"We’ll just take a little ride, Helaine." She dragged the blond kicking across the bed and bent her over the edge of it.

They were both out of breath, the sheets massed around them.

"You’re ruining me, you know? I can only do blonds now."

Ruined. Helaine was silent, her hair sticking to her neck and shoulders, stuck to her face. She tried to raise herself. Sharon leaned against her damp body and entered her once more. She stifled a scream.

"Where are you when I’m not fucking you, Dr. Kristenson?"

"I’m–this is–I’m–" Sharon had been hostile ever since she stepped through the door. Helaine tightened. "I’m not ready for thi–"

"Because you’re too tense. Relax doctor."

A flash of pain. Helaine groaned. "You’re being too–" Sharon pushed deeper inside and Helaine moaned low in distress.

"When I’m not fucking your gorgeous ass, Helaine, where do you go?"

There was nothing to grab onto. It was pointless to answer. Sharon pushed into her and pulled out suddenly. In, then out again. Helaine put her hand over her eyes. They were wet.

"Relax your legs for me."

"Christ–" Her feet barely touched the floor. She grabbed for the sides of the bed but couldn’t reach them.

"Chill, I said."

Her arms were falling asleep. "Give me…a second. I’m–" Her rectum felt full. She felt it begin to move in spasms. Pleasure for the first time in months. She hated herself for it. Sharon pressed against her stomach with her free hand and raised her up slightly from the bed. She clutched at the sheets around her in protest.

"Did I keep you waiting, doctor?"

"Wai–"

"Did I?"

Helaine’s insides rippled in waves, giving out without her consent. "What–what do you mean?"

"Waiting for me. I kept you waiting?"

"Waiting," she repeated. "I–" spasms. Pleasure and pain. "Yes." And hatred, coming in waves. Tidal. She couldn’t prevent it. "Jesus…" Cries filled her throat, slipping off her tongue and falling from her lips into the bed sheets. She put her face into the pillow to smother them. Moans, sighs, cries, Sharon’s favorite. She hadn’t earned them tonight. "You’re hurt–"

"Then relax for me."

The pillow was wet. "I…slower…can’t."

"Call me darling then."

"Slower. Slower then…darling."

Slower. Helaine relaxed her legs. Slow. She clamped her hand over her mouth. Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow.

"Love," Sharon whispered. "God, I missed you."

Pleasure. Nine months. Helaine moaned.

"Ahh…you’re a slut, Dr. Kristenson," Sharon murmured, kissing her shoulders and neck. "Do it for me. Masturbate."

Helaine shook her head.

"Pretend I’m someone else."

She would not. "Let go of me, Sharon."

"Never--did you miss me?"

Her legs were closing once more. They were forced open again.

"Want to hear some highlights from my trip, Dr. Kristenson?"

Helaine winced.

No reply. Sharon pushed deeper inside her. "Lift," she demanded.

"I…my feet."

Sharon inched her further down. "Bend, Helaine."

"I can’t."

"There," Sharon urged, placing a pillow under her stomach. "Now bend."

"You’re going to hurt me...?"

"No. Bend for me. Put your knee here."

Helaine lifted her knee. Sharon pushed. "You didn’t answer me."

"You’re–why are you–"

"Say more, like you missed me. More, darling."

NO.

"More, Helaine. Then I’ll be gentle."

"I’m–I’m…more."

"More, darling."

"Shar–"

Sharon dropped her weight.

Pressure. Too much pressure. "More, darling," Helaine finally whispered, "gentle."

"Gentle what?" Sharon nudged.

"Gentle, darling...."

Slow and gentle and more.

"Say it, Helaine."

Her legs ached. "What–more?" She regretted letting Sharon in tonight.

"Fuck me–say it."

Helaine buried her face into the sheets. Pain more than pleasure now. Sharon’s face was close to her own. She turned away from it. "Fuck me," she muttered, clenching her fists.

"Italy. Beautiful country, Helaine."

Helaine sucked in sharply.

"Italy, dear doctor."

Pressure. Helaine cried out.

Such a beautiful count–"

"Shar–"

"Warm. Affectionate blonds," Sharon teased, now stroking Helaine’s sex.

Helaine let out an anguished sigh, a series of muffled sobs. Then silence. Sharon held her closer. "So fucking beautiful. Such a beautiful little–" she backed her body into hers. "You’re so w–"

"Sharon, Jesus…please…please, don’t talk to me anymore." Her arms and legs felt broken. She let them fall slack.

"Dr. Kristenson?"

Helaine pressed her mouth into her arm and made a sound in her throat.

"Beautiful," Sharon murmured into the blond hair. "Beautiful," she said again, removing her hand from Helaine’s stomach and stroking between her own legs. "Helaine," she called softly...

8.12.09

Unity, Squared by Sara Lansing

There are times, when the wind is roaring through the stripped frames of the Antares, and the sun is setting, swollen and yellow, through the blowing dust, that I feel so alone, alone as the last soul in all this universe.

But it is so unreal. Where is reality? Is reality the harshness of the broken ship, or is it the hope of rescue? Is it that beacon that calls to the stars and which I truly believe will one day draw a shuttle to my salvation...? Our salvation.

Or is it the one I love?

Does reality dwell only in the hope and belief that life does not end, and that broken flesh can be mended?

Shanna, Shanna, my love, it is so unfair that your spirit should define this terrible place, a voice in the wilderness, a whisper from beyond... And the lifeline to my sanity.

***

A figure stood in the deepening ruddy twilight of an unnamed planet, a hand raised to the blowing dust to keep a broad faceplate clear. By the feet of that figure lay a jagged, wind-scoured rock on which was burned a single phrase. Shanna's hope.

The figure turned, hunched in the wind, and moved with careful step between the rocks and the ever-shifting sands to the exposed flank of the ruined Antares, climbed a flash-welded ladder to an airlock, stepped within and sent the outer hatch across. Clean air flooded the chamber and a raging blast scoured all dust away.

Moments later the figure emerged in the dimly-lit, slanted interior of the crippled vessel, among the silence of desertion, and sat back on the suiting bench for a long, exhausted while before beginning to remove the worn, tough suit piece by piece. At last the suit was stowed in its niche and a woman with the pale features of strain and malnutrition stared at herself in a stainless steel surface. Eyes once filled with life were like the blank orbs of a doll, and scrappy hair hung in a witch’s straggle. With the precise motions of one who knew that an injury would mean death, she turned on the tilted deck and followed a safety line strung on the high side of the corridor.

***

Hi Shanna, I’m home! (Big smiles, a long hug and sweet kiss.) I got a fair bit done today, never as much as I would have liked, but enough. I realigned the suntrackers so we’ll get back to about 70% delivery on the solar cells, but the dust is scouring the protective coatings and reducing light reception. Unless this dust storm stops blowing a day will come... No, you’re right, best not to think of that. Just keep working on bringing the hotcores online instead as a fallback.

I explored the ridge to the south, it’s lucky we crashed where we did... Lucky we crashed, that’s funny! No, really! The other side of that ridge is a steep drop to volcanic gullies and rilles that would have smashed this ship apart beyond all hope of survival. At least the others got out when they did. I checked the logs when I got back, but there’s no signal. Hmph, that one hi-band antenna is our lifeline, the beacon goes out, a reply will come back the same way. We must hold onto the fact the escape pods have a better chance of being spotted up there than we have down here, and they’ll send a survey ship back. It’s only a matter of time.

Time... How long has it been, my love? Five weeks? Let me check...
(A quick flutter of data through circuits, multiple overlays in the perceptive envelope...) Seven weeks. Seven? Where did they go? (Long silence.)

What’s that, grrl? You’d like to go for a swim? Me too!

***

No lights burned in the chamber she had set up for living. She flicked on a single fluorescent bar as she stepped in and sank into an acceleration couch’s welcoming comfort. The telltales of the computer interface lit as the ship’s surviving systems registered her presence, and she reached to the instruments at her side to tap a screen. Her evening meal ration began to heat in the food hole, nothing special, just enough to keep body and soul together, drawn from the emergency stores that had withstood the shocking impact of the Antares.

She saw her reflection in the cover of the food unit, saw how slimness had become gaunt, how her uniform coveralls hung loose on a body now motivated mostly by the will within. Her nametag, over her left breast, was meaningless, the letters backward to her eyes, though she knew they spelled out Harelson. Maggie Harelson... That was her name. Yes.

She ate without tasting, her eyes on the visual display of the com array, as they usually were at this hour, ‘monitoring,’ she called it, though any incoming signal would be brought to her attention by the main computer without her input. The radio sky pulsed and shimmered as the computers endlessly scanned the frequency spectrum for the ghost of a signal, whose reality might spell escape from this living hell.

At last she pushed aside the plastic food container, scraped clean, and with a sigh of relief drew on a sensory headset, adjusted the contacts to her temples and let her mind go blank...

***

The rush of dislocation was like coming home, and when Maggie Harelson emerged head and shoulders from the warm sea the sun on her face was a caress. Shanna was there as ever, like a mermaid, her long hair streaming. The women trod water after their dive, then began to stroke for the beach close by. Gentle waves pushed them ashore and they relaxed in the warm shallows for a while before striding up the beach to their camp. The breeze was cool on their bare skins, and they towelled off briskly before coming together in the full body hug that was the spice of their lives. Kisses were sweet as wine and exploring hands triggered quickfire nerve impulses that set them sighing and laughing into each other's mouths.

Shanna pressed Maggie gently back onto the rug on the sands and lay over her in a glide of smooth skin and wet hair, kissing and caressing, and their joy of being momentarily wiped away the agony of reality. Loving was the reward of living, and so long as there was life, there was love. Darting tongues and skilled fingers found well-known trigger points and each woman arched her back in her turn, crying out, to startle gulls on the red cliffs above the bay, in the ecstasy of climax. Panting, gasping, nothing else in the universe mattered in those moments, and the caressing aftermath, when they lay together in the cuddle of all lovers, was their affirmation that there was a way out of limbo.

“I’m concerned for you,” Shanna whispered. “You’re giving me the power.”

“You need it,” Maggie replied bluntly. “I’ll survive, my love. Because I must. You can’t without the power.” She smiled and stroked her lover’s face. “It gets cold. There’s not much to eat. At the end of the day, people have survived far greater hardships.”

“You truly believe they’ll come?”

“There would be no point fighting to survive without that belief,” Maggie whispered. “You and I will be together again.”

“Mags... I’m dead,” Shanna mouthed almost silently.

“Technically, yes. And technically, no.” Maggie’s smile was the forlorn hope of the desperate. “When the cockpit was wrecked and your seat broke loose, you were fatally injured. It’s your good luck the suspension pod in sickbay survived and I got you in there before you flatlined.”

“Or my curse.”

“Don’t say that.” Maggie squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. “I need to believe. Your injuries are treatable and life was suspended before the end.”

“I’m a whisper in my own brain,” Shanna said, her voice blending with the roll of the sea. “Eventually I’ll loose coherence. And then... Who knows.”

Maggie took her face in her hands and kissed her firmly. “But that day is far away. So long as I keep the power to the pod above minimum safe level, you’ll survive.”

“And you’ll die slowly of cold and hunger.”

“It’s my choice.” Maggie stretched in the illusory warmth of the virtual sun. “I have faith.”

For a long moment Shanna was motionless, her eyes flicking right and left as if she were reading text, then she rose suddenly to her feet and looked around. When Maggie joined her, a strange current of excitement had entered her own consciousness, a prickle at the tips of her nerves. She put out a hand to her lover, who took it in a fond clasp, allowing herself to hope just this once before they faded out, and became as ghosts to each other.

***

Time sense distorted across the VR barrier and Maggie found the signal had been incoming for more than two hours when she opened her eyes and drew off the headset. Long enough for it to make no difference. Two faces she did not know were lit in the dim glow of emergency lamps, clean helmets were set aside and a young man with medical insignia on the shoulders of his suit was running a scanner over her. He looked up into her eyes and whispered “Welcome back, ma’am.” He turned and called his skipper.

The other man turned from inspecting the central computer interface and offered her his hand. A broad, craggy face was lit with a human relief that touched her heart. “Captain Harelson, it’s good to find you in one piece. Captain Mason, ship Bellatrix. We picked up the pods two days ago and backtracked their course. It’s a miracle you put her down at all.”

“The last pod malfunctioned,” Maggie whispered. “My senior pilot and I could only ride her in and do our best.” She released his hand, savouring human company but knowing she had held it long enough. “Speaking of whom...”

The medic inclined his head to the long, sealed sleep casket that nestled at the opposite wall of what had been the sickbay and nodded. “Both legs broken, ruptured spleen, punctured lung, if you hadn’t suspended her she would have been dead in minutes. If that. But according to the computer, she’s still in there.” He smiled and lay a gloved hand on her shoulder. “We’ll get her back to the Bellatrix, then leave it to me.”

Captain Mason took her hand and helped her rise stiffly. Her wasted frame and haggard face had not escaped his notice, and he knew why it was so grim here: a suspension pod took power to run, and he could only admire her determination in the face of bleak disaster. “Let’s get you both home,” he said softly.

Maggie crossed to the pod and looked through the monitoring panel at the face she knew best in all the universe, and lay her palm to the glass as she had times beyond reckoning, and in her mind’s eye she took her lover in an embrace as close as two beings in one skin. Not much longer, my love, she whispered silently to herself.

Not much longer.

Gay Boys - Abstract by Jade